Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark.
Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark
One: Don't miss the boat.
Two: Remember that we are all in
the same boat.
Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't
raining when Noah built the Ark.
Four: Stay fit. When you're 600
years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
Five: Don't listen to critics; just
get on with the job that needs to be done.
Six : Build your future on high
Seven: For safety's sake, travel
Eight: Speed isn't always an
advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
Nine: When you're stressed, float a
Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by
amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
Eleven: No matter the storm, when
you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting...Pass this along
and make someone else smile, too.
May your troubles be less,
may your blessings be more,
and may nothing but happiness
come through your door!
(Thanks to John and Gloria)
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What
was Jesus' mother's name?"
One child answered, "Mary."
The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"
A little kid said, "Verge."
Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
The kid said, "Well, you know, they are always talking about Verge n'
3-year-old Reese: "Our Father, Who does
art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen."
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if
you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a
real good time like I am."
After the christening of his baby brother in
church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy
replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian
home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
I had been teaching my three-year old
daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at
She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she
carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us from
One particular four-year-old prayed, "And
forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as
they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to
be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old
brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang,
and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough.
"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the
back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the
door? They're hushers."
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons,
Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the
first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the
first pancake, I can wait.' Kevin turned to his younger brother and
said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led
him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to
Heaven," the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said,
"Did God throw him back down?"